In case you slept through fourth grade history, or own a
really outdated calendar, today is Columbus Day, the 509th
anniversary of Christopher Columbus’ discovery of North
America. (I don’t care what some wispy, goateed professor told
you between bites of hummus while leafing through this month’s
Mother Jones. Christopher Columbus discovered America.)
Now, as with anything honoring America, there are some who
have a problem celebrating Oct. 12 as a holiday. They are the
usual suspects, the same sniveling malcontents who always manage
to find a problem with anything relating to capitalism,
Christianity or America. They howl that Columbus violated a land
of tranquility. They screech that Western civilization corrupted
a Native American utopia. They squeal that the Native Americans
lived in serenity and accord, until their overthrow at the hands
of greedy capitalist crusaders hell-bent on eradicating all
vestiges of the native populous in their quest for gold, silver
And as usual, they are wrong.
These "Columbu-phobes" wail and scream about how
Columbus and his European followers supposedly ransacked and
pillaged entire civilizations, wiping away cultures preaching
harmony with nature and one other. History’s revisionists
would have one believe Columbus invaded and overthrew a race of
peaceful, harmonious people of the earth, a people far superior
to the white Christian treasure-seekers who obliterated their
society. Eyewitness accounts and the archaeological evidence,
however, tell a far different story.
The supposedly peaceful Guadelope inhabitants Columbus first
encountered, the Arawaks, in fact raided weaker Siboney
villages, brutally massacring the men and savagely raping the
women. Boys were castrated, fattened, boiled in pots and eaten.
The Arawaks kept girls captive as "breeders,"
providing carnal pleasure and a constant supply of babies,
regarded as a delicacy. The plight of women, viewed as
second-class and chattel, wasn’t much better.
But what evil culture of doom did these pale-skinned
conquerors leave behind? What legacy of decadence and
nature-rape were the Native Americans shackled with? Only a
Christian way of life that lifted them out of poverty, increased
their life span and taught peace and equality. Constant
starvation, cannibalism and child sacrifice were replaced by
healthy diets, industriousness and democracy. People who once
lived in disease-ridden huts and practiced shamanism were later
introduced to immunization and life-saving surgery.
Common sense, not arrogance, illustrates the fact Western
civilization and the Judeo-Christian ethic is far superior to
any other culture or faith to come along the pike. It is the
Judeo-Christian ethic, not the animal worship of the South and
North American natives, which gave us the model for a
representative government by the people. It is Western
civilization that gave us our written language, as opposed to
the illiterate Caribs who had no written language to speak of.
The anti-American apologists for the Native Americans of the 15th
century would have a hard time proving the American Indian is
better off today than he was 509 years ago. Thanks to
Christopher Columbus and a half-millennia of European influence,
the modern person of Native American has a longer lifespan, a
means of communicating and teaching his heritage and the right
to live his life and worship as he pleases. He even has the
right to whine about the intrepid Italian who made it possible.
Good luck trying that under King Montezuma.
But leftists, as a lot, have never been one to let simple
nuisances of fact deter them from whining and complaining.
Despite the factually crushing tide of evidence against them,
Columbus’ detractors persist in their own crusade to eliminate
any celebration of, or even reference to, the famed explorer.
The war against Columbus is merely a battle in a larger fight
against Western civilization, Judeo-Christian ethic and 200
years of American progress. He was white, European, Christian
and responsible for the birth of the nation that discredited
socialism, therefore he must be discredited.
Sadly for the anti-Columbus Left, while the events of Oct.
12, 1492, forever altered history and marked the end of a
hunting-gathering society of cannibals, it did so for the
better. Christopher Columbus’ sacrifice and bravery opened the
door to a new land where a superior modern constitutional
republic, based upon individual liberty and inalienable rights
granted by God, took root.
So to those young "Columbu-phobes" picketing their
schools’ Indian mascot (schools and educational pursuit having
never existed in pre-Columbus America), to those publishing
books and articles on the evils of the white man and the virtues
of the ancient Native American (the printing press and freedom
of speech being the product of white European males) and to
those griping about Columbus at the age of 70 over a healthy
dinner of something other than human flesh (there being scant
food, widespread disease and rampant cannibalism in pre-Columbus
America) I say to you, Happy White Male Oppressor Day!
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