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Whatever it takes
By Brent Barksdale
brent@politicalusa.com

In 1998 I predicted Al Gore would be our next President.  This prediction had nothing to do with Al Gore’s leadership ability, his political experience, or his famous debate skills. 

It’s very simple: Al Gore, The White House, the DOJ and the Democrats will do whatever it takes to win.  Period.

High oil prices hurting your poll numbers?  That’s easy.  Just have the Department of Justice investigate “price gouging” by “big oil.”  Never mind, the fact that our government is the one “price gouging” by way of taxing every gallon of gas almost 40%.

Oil prices still high?  Make some history.  Release the strategic oil reserves even though a month earlier you said that such a move would do nothing to solve our energy problems.

Bill Clinton scandals got you down?  Pick the only Democrat known for speaking out against Clinton’s behavior with America’s favorite intern for your VP.  (Sure, Joe the “holy one” voted against impeachment, but it’s the thought that counts.)

Campaign finance violations an issue?  Another easy one.  Don’t investigate it.  Did anyone in America actually think that Janet Reno would ever investigate the Vice President? 

Oh, here’s a funny side note.  The FBI just opened a full-scale investigation of the Bush campaign because a Bush debate prep tape was mailed to the Gore campaign.  The FBI concluded that a full-scale investigation was warranted after collecting evidence for just one week.

And don’t worry about those pesky incriminating e-mails.  “Oops, they’ve been lost.”  And the ones that we can be recovered, “it’s going to take time”.  Just enough time, of course, to make sure they don’t interfere with the election.

Town Hall crowd member asks you embarrassing questions about your boss’s rape allegations?  Looks like an audit is in order.  The friendly IRS is on it to make sure that lady will serve as an example just like Juanita Broaddrick, Paula Jones, the Travelgate staffers, and almost every conservative group in America.  Speak up and you will be audited.

The Abortion Issue not hurting the Republicans enough?  Have the FDA approve the use of RU-486 two months before the election.

I could go on and on from the alpha male to the tobacco flip-flops.  It doesn’t matter if it has to be done to win, it will be done.  

Whatever it takes.

I can’t wait to see what the coming weeks hold for us.  Let’s just hope Gore does well in the final debates, because if he has a weak performance and his poll numbers drop, watch out. 

Sadaam Hussein will be watching.  If the polls drop for Gore, so will the bombs.  Bombing Iraq should be good for at least 3 percentage points. 

Hopefully, that will do it for Gore.  If not, Clinton will be forced to shut down the Government.  But hey, whatever it takes.

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© Brent Barksdale, 2000

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View expressed are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Political USA.


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