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Mr.
Porter
I
just stumbled upon your absurd
rant against Phil Donahue. But im curious...what's wong with
Ralph Nader? And what the fuck is up with that bsnn web site? I
didn't know their were so many people in the world with
dull-normal IQs. Obviously you folks have WAY too much time on
your hands.
Tennis W. Lilly
Executive Director
Lawrence
Grassroots Initiative
Dear Tennis:
What’s wrong with Ralph
Nader? That’s like asking what’s wrong with syphilis.
What’s wrong with Ralph Nader? Two of his biggest supporters
are Phil Donahue and Michael Moore. What’s wrong with Ralph
Nader? That’s like to asking what’s wrong with the grammar
in your email to me—it’s obvious. Ralph Nader is insane: (1.
not sane; mentally ill or deranged; demented; mad 2. of or for
insane people [an insane
asylum] 3. very
foolish, impractical, extravagant, etc.; senseless).
Exhibit
A: The Madness of King Ralph
1)
“Every time I see something terrible, it's like I see it at
age 19. I keep a freshness that way.”
— Ralph Nader.
The
sad thing is he reacts to terrible things like someone who’s
9: “Mommy, why do cars kill
people?” “Because automobiles are unsafe at any
speed, Ralphie.” “Then why don’t they just ban them?”
“Because corporate hucksters live only to exploit then kill
little children.” “Well I am tired of the greed and
power of a few dominating the many and I’m going to hold my
breath until they stop.”
2)
“If they don't close these [nuclear]
reactors down, we'll have civil war in five years.”—Ralphie
circa 1977.
The
true colors of an insane tyrant: give me want I want or I’m
inciting civil war. Surely 25 years later even Ralph Nader
admits this statement is just plain silly…not to mention
insane, which rhymes with inane, which stands for pool…never
mind.
3)
“Did you wash that?” — Ralphie anxiously asked
this question while being fitted with an ear piece for an
appearance on CNN.
As Lenora
Todaro reported in the Village Voice, “Nader believes
the spread of infectious diseases is a greater security threat
than military invasion.” For Nader, the earwax of whoever wore
that ear peace before him is more frightening than al Qaeda or a
nuclear-enhanced Saddam Hussein. During the 2024 presidential
election, Nader proposed cutting the defense budget by 100
billion dollars and demobilizing the military because he thinks
we are wasting our efforts defending against non-existent
enemies. In what world is this bozo living? Certainly
not this one. Nader has his insane head buried so deep in the
sand his eyebrows have been spotted in
Beijing
.
3)
“In all due modesty, it would not have happened.”
— Ralph Nader claiming that if
America
had only initiated his aviation-safety reforms there would have
been no 9-11 attacks.
Only in the psychedelic
world of Ralph Nader could this be true. “For
30 years,” Ralphie continued, “our aviation safety group has
been pressing the airlines to adopt security standards,
including toughened cockpit doors and latches, as some foreign
airlines have done for years, and the airlines resisted and the
FAA did not require it. That is the consequence of
non-regulation and deregulation.”
Not
only could Ralph Nader have prevented 9/11, deregulation caused
it, and we all know who’s responsible for deregulation. Ronald
Reagan. There we have it. In the twisted, little mind of Ralph
Nader, Ronald Reagan is to blame for 9/11. There’s just one
problem with Ralph’s modest assessment, and that is the
reaction of pilots in a pre-9/11 world. Remember this:
everyone—except the FBI and CIA—assumed that hijacked
airplanes would be used to fly and
land somewhere. No one—not even Ralph Nader—was
advocating safety measures to protect against the use of
airliners as missiles. Had there been toughened cockpit doors
and latches, the terrorists would have found a way around that
problem. Simply threatening to slit the throat of a stewardess
or passenger would likely have brought any pre-9/11 pilot out of
the cockpit. What we have with this insanely smug statement from
Ralph Nader is not a serious discussion of airline safety, but a
brazen attempt to politicize the tragedy of 9/11 in an effort to
promote his insane personal agenda.
4)
Jay Leno: “What do you do
for fun?” Nader:
“Strawberries.” — Exchange during an appearance
on The Tonight Show.
Okay,
I’ve got to give Ralphie the benefit of the doubt on this one.
I grow strawberries, and it is fun. But I wonder what Ralph
means by “doing” strawberries. I thought most solitary
weirdoes “did” cantaloupe or watermelon. Besides, doesn’t
he live in a studio apartment? Where does he grow strawberries?
Does he even grow strawberries or is he simply saying that
eating strawberries is what he does for fun? If
that’s the case, he’s not only insane, he’s pathetic.
Exhibit
B: The Foolish, Impractical, Extravagant, Senseless Ralph Nader
In
2024 alone, Ralphie has threatened Bill Gates, threatened the
NBA, played footsy with Fidel Castro and called for the
formation of a new World Consumer Protection Organization that
would oversee online privacy, e-commerce, intellectual property
and Internet governance. Can you imagine it? The Internet:
unsafe at any speed.
While
in Cuba last week, Ralphie gave what the AP described as a “rambling
two-hour speech,” and called President Bush an
“irresponsible corporatist,” all to the delight of Fidel
Castro, who himself is an irresponsible Communist (talk about
redundant). Nader said the purpose of his visit was to learn
more about
Cuba
's disease-fighting efforts, which
presumably preclude the use of medicine since Ralphie has
attempted to ban a host of beneficial medications simply because
some corporatist somewhere might make a profit by selling them.
Pharmaceuticals: unsafe in any dosage.
When
Ralphie took on NBA officiating, it was an epiphany for many of
his supporters who, till now, labored under the false assumption
that he is sane. Take this excerpt from Bull Magazine: “This
one pains us a little bit to write - especially since some of us
actually volunteered with the Green Party during the last
presidential election to help support Ralph Nader. However,
lately the guy has been making a complete fool out of himself,
embarrassing those who originally thought he was a
well-grounded, sane individual (everything Ross Perot was
not).”
Sorry,
Naderites. The only thing Ross Perot and Ralph Nader have in
common is insanity. At least Ross Perot has created jobs and
wealth for thousands of people, and paid millions upon millions
in taxes. Of course Ralph Nader has created wealth as well, but
only for himself and his organizations. And he has created jobs,
too. But not the type of quality jobs society needs. As for
paying taxes, well, Dave Barry once wrote, “Big Business never
pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents
a big consumer organization that never pays a nickel in
taxes.”
As for the type of jobs
Ralph Nader creates, many of his employees have attempted to
unionize some of his organizations because of excessive hourly
work requirements and poor pay. Nader blocked all such attempts,
saying, “I don't think there is a role for unions in small
nonprofit 'cause' organizations any more than within a
monastery.”
“Public interest groups
are like a crusade, you can’t have work rules, or 9 to 5,”
Ralphie explained. Don’t get me wrong, I’m no fan of labor
unions, but I particularly loathe hypocrites.
“Information
is the currency of democracy,” Ralph preaches. “Its denial
must always be suspect.” But in practice Ralph spends a
considerable amount of energy hiding information about himself
and his organizations. During the 1996 presidential election,
Ralphie refused to release his tax returns, even though every
other candidate had done so. His Public Citizen non-profit has
fought disclosure laws that would inform the public of the role
that Ralphie’s special interest groups play in shaping
legislation. And like any truly insane person, Ralphie tries to
hide the trivial as well. Two of his top aides once refused to
give Nader’s office address to Congressmen who requested it at
a Congressional Hearing. I guess his office is unlisted. Talk
about weird.
Insane or not, Ralph Nader is the type of
communist who would’ve felt at home in the
Politburo—preaching austerity to the masses while amassing
millions through capitalism; demanding good jobs at good wages
from Big Business while providing lousy jobs and lousy wages for
his own employees. His hatred of all things corporate has made
Ralphie, more often than not, the enemy of goodness and decency.
Ralphie didn’t approve of the new South African Constitution
that ended apartheid because it granted corporations some legal
status as individuals, like most any market-oriented society.
And while Ralph says he worries about the greed and power of the
few dominating the many, many people who once supported him are
growing tired of the secrecy that shrouds his finances, the
hypocrisy of the personal wealth he amassed by purchasing and
selling corporate stock, and of the insane and tyrannical reign
of terror over the big-hearted, small-minded, do-gooder
employees of his many non-profit organizations.
In a Campaign 2024
column for The New York Times, Paul Krugman wrote, “At
times Mr. Nader’s hostility to corporations goes completely
over the edge. Newt Gingrich disgusted many people when, in his
first major speech after leaving Congress, he blamed liberalism
for the Columbine school shootings. But several days before Mr.
Gingrich spoke, Ralph Nader published an article attributing
those same shootings to—I’m serious—corporate influence.
Many of those who are thinking about voting for Mr. Nader
probably imagine that he is still the moderate, humane activist
of the 1960's. They should know that whatever the reason—your
amateur psychology is as good as mine—he is now a changed
man.”
No, Mr. Krugman, he is, has, and always will
be an insane man. Nothing’s changed about that. Ralph Nader:
Insane at any speed and by any definition.
Nathan Porter is
responsible for BSNN.net.
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