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Why Dogs Should Sue Spike Lee

By Debbie Schlussel

Poor Spike Lee.

The director/actor/ad creator/bombastic New York Knicks fan can’t get enough attention. He hasn’t had a hit at the box office, his ads for bankrupt Kmart went unnoticed, and his beloved Knicks are out of action until next season. No Page Six photos of Lee in his usual Madison Square Garden courtside conniptions.

But Spike Lee craves publicity. So he found the next best way to get it. By suing Viacom over its new male-oriented Spike TV cable network (formerly TNN). In a clearly frivolous lawsuits, Lee is seeking an injunction against Viacom’s use of the name Spike TV, saying he didn’t gave his consent for its use. In court papers, he claims, "The media description of this change of name, as well as comments made to me and my wife, confirmed what was obvious – that Spike TV referred to Spike Lee."

Does anyone, including Spike Lee, really believe this?

Probably not his lawyers--if they knew anything about copyright law, which prevents the use of a similar or identical name only if there’s a likelihood of confusion. It’s highly unlikely anyone would be confused that this new network has anything to do with the annoying B-list celebrity director.

Spike TV bills itself as "the first network for men," with programming that spans reruns of "Baywatch" and "The A-Team." While not high-grade fare, the shows are the pinnacle of culture compared with Lee’s racist propaganda parading as film. Unlike Lee’s celluloid political diatribes, you don’t need to be on guard for hidden, divisive agendas underneath Pamela Anderson’s swimsuit or Mr. T’s declarations of "I pity the fool."

Then there’s the name "Spike." Lee was born Shelton Jackson Lee, and he’s stolen the name of many other "Spikes." There’s late bandleader/composer Spike Jones, famed video director Spike Jonze, pro golfer Spike McRoy, and a million dogs named Spike, who were born with the name. They should all be suing Mr. Lee, who stole their name and defamed them in the process.

Defamed them by being one of America’s top race pimps. If the pro-reparations name of his "40 Acres and a Mule Filmworks" production company isn’t a strong hint, his vile race-hustling movies should be. Lee’s favorite targets for defamation are Jews, Italians, and other Whites, portraying them chock-full of the most outrageous, bigoted stereotypes.

There’s his 1989 "breakthrough" flick, "Do the Right Thing," in which—predictably—Whites, especially Italians, are evil, unsympathetic characters, while Blacks are the downtrodden, oppressed victims. There’s 2001’s "Bamboozled" and 1990’s "Mo’ Better Blues," in which Jews are evil, slave-driving, racists. Ditto for 1996’s "Get on the Bus," which celebrates Lee’s hero, racist loon Louis Farrakhan and his Million—I mean, 300,000—Man March. A Jewish busdriver, who refuses to continue to drive because of Farrakhan’s blatant anti-Semitism, is the movie’s villain. And don’t forget "Malcolm X" (1992), which justifies the Black Islamic leader’s hatred of Whites and Jews.

About the only Lee film that’s not political is his big 1999 dud, "Summer of Sam." But even that is about Lee’s favorite kind of serial killer, a Jewish one (adopted). That film’s portrayal of Italians and other Whites is par for the Lee course--completely bigoted.

When his "4 Little Girls" documentary—about White racists bombing a Black church in 1963—lost out to "The Long Way Home" for an Academy Award, Lee whined that it was a "Holocaust movie" and accused the Academy of failing to give Blacks due recognition. In 1998, Lee complained to AP that Michael Jackson had to change blatantly anti-Semitic lyrics (about the Jewish boy he allegedly sexually molested) to a song and apologize to Jews. Jackson "was crucified!" Lee snorted.

Even Lee’s courtside seats at Knicks games and description as a powerful Black political broker in the swanky Black publication, Savoy, can’t redeem this classless, street-style race pimp. On the rare occasion when a Hollywood movie critic called him out as a racist instead of gushing over this glorified hoodlum with no clothing, Lee called the critic an "a - - hole" and announced plans to begin his next movie inviting critics to "kiss my black a - -."

Another reason dogs should sue Spike Lee for stealing their name and soiling it in the process: his gargantuan case of hubris.

Viewers of Lee’s movies are consistently forced to endure his visage. Unlike real movie directors—satisfied to direct their masterpieces behind the camera—the vain, shameless, self-promoting Spike Lee insists on being an actor in most of his movies. Talk about craving attention. All of Lee’s movies are conspicuously labeled "A Spike Lee Joint."

Yes, he seems to be smoking a lot of those.

Do the Right Thing, Spike Lee. Disappear.

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