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Are Auto Helmets Next?

by Dorothy Anne Seese


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Ford Motor Company has announced a new program for placing booster seats in its new autos.  Booster seats are for kids between 40 and 80 lbs, which means your skinny, 78 lb. 12 year old, who has had five years of sex education in school, is to be treated as a "child" in a vehicle.

And such laws are mandatory in a few states now.

Do you ever get the feeling that government is intruding in your private life?  That our federally financed roads are now our federally dictated mobility avenues?

Of course, Ford Motor Company, blasted from headline to headline across the nation for the Ford Explorer/Firestone Tire crashes, needs a good public relations gimmick, which I would suspect is behind this new philosophy of "caring for our kids."  Someone at Ford learned well from the Clinton administration that no matter what you want done, if you can do it "for the kids" it will be approved.  (What legislator wants to get up and debate a program "for the kids" and sound like a cross between Scrooge and Darth Vader?)

"For the kids" is now the liberal route to getting idiotic legislation passed in nearly every state of the union as well as in Congress!  That, to me, is child abuse.

Now, how about auto helmets?  We have motorcycle helmets.  We have bicycle helmets. We have legislators who want moped helmets.  We may even have jet ski helmets (although I don't know this for a fact).  But auto helmets?  Now a good, liberally-minded, foresighted, money-minded company could very well introduce the Auto Helmet.  If it's for the kids ... you better believe it will pass the state legislatures and Congress.

Of course, kids need an example, so why not require all motorists to wear auto helmets?  Adults stand to have the air knocked out of their hedbones in a vehicle crash, so let's just go all the way and design something that looks like a NASA experiment for next-generation astronaut head gear and require everyone who rides in a motor vehicle to wear one.  Even with tuxedo or evening gown.

And NASCAR racers.  After all, if Dale Earnhardt died driving 180 mph, you might also, assuming your SUV will achieve that speed.  You could also die suddenly if a semi jack knifes in front of you on the interstate, or a cement truck dumps its load on top of your vehicle so that you and all passengers are entombed in a mound of concrete mix.  Driving is dangerous business, but legislatures seem to have discovered that only recently.  In the days when Americans demanded freedom, they took the consequences of their actions.  Now, the people are crying for Uncle to come save them from themselves.  Especially the kids.

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But, there are benefits too. Think of it this way.  If you get stuck on the railroad tracks and a locomotive tee-bones your Yugo ... with a helmet your head will survive intact.  Makes for a nicer funeral scene.

If this sounds like I am sick of stupid laws, I am indeed.  We have enough laws to make a banana republic dictator laugh himself silly ... primarily because in a banana republic, the dictator is the law.  He simply used the shorter route of revolution to get his absolute power of control.  The United States is doing it the turtle way ... one law at a time, but sometimes a bunch a week.  (That's bunch, as in banana!)

Let me in on the IPO for the first auto helmet company because if it's for the kids, I'd like a few shares of stock in it.

We all know ... if it's for the kids ... it's going to make money, hamper freedom and further the cause of globalism.  Such worthy projects should not be left unnoticed.

Actually, such projects and all stupid laws should be dumped and if the legislators who passed the laws are still in the country, they should be tried for violating the provisions of the Constitution.  It won't happen.

It could happen, but Americans are so emotional they don't stop to think that laws "for the kids" are actually laws that adults have to obey.

There is absolutely no way to describe how much liberty the American people could discover if only we had less government, fewer laws and the cry for personal responsibility, not government control.

The only ten laws that make sense, however, aren't legal for public display in this nation.

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Dorothy Anne Seese, 2001, All rights reserved.

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