Kirsten's Fan Club
I do not read Glamour magazine; in fact, I am
boycotting it, and have been for a few years. Of the numerous
neo-feminist fashion magazines out there (the ones with the
starving children on their covers -- oh wait, those are
supermodels), Glamour has consistently been the worst
offender when it comes to sticking its proverbial nose where it
doesn't belong -- namely, politics.
Glamour has always had a liberal feminist bent to it, at
least where pure politics is concerned (but someone ought to
tell them there is nothing feminist about eighty-pound
twelve-year-olds modeling trampy-looking ten-thousand-dollar
outfits). Other magazines, such as Marie Claire and Mademoiselle
have been actively trying to catch up with Glamour in
terms of utter depravity, but Glamour has remained the
front-runner in the race to the bottom of leftist lunacy.
The August issue of Glamour, which hit newsstands
Tuesday, should shatter any illusions more conservative readers
may have had about the magazine's true purpose. Forsaking my
boycott, I obtained a copy of Tuesday's issue because of an
article I read in The Washington Times highlighting a
particular piece. The Glamour piece is called,
"Karenna Gore Schiff's Guide to Not Getting
Bush-Whacked," subtitled "How to make George W.'s term
a lot less scary." Really nice for a supposedly apolitical
fashion magazine, isn't it?
If the Gores are going to come out of hiding, and have chosen
Glamour as their vehicle, then boycott or no, I want to
see the wreck. After all, what is left to say when you
shamelessly tried to steal the Presidency using every nefarious
tactic possible and still lost miserably (have you seen the
red-and-blue map, Mr. Gore?)? That Al Gore is not doing the
speaking in this case is, on the one hand, rather irrelevant
since Karenna was such a key advisor during the campaign as to
be of one mind publicly with her father. On the other hand, that
Karenna is venturing back into the spotlight first is
significant for several reasons.
First of all, Karenna chose Glamour because the Gores
needed a friendly audience. Apparently they found it in Glamour,
which in the August issue alone boasts an editorial defending
Governor-cum-absentee mom Jane Swift of Massachusetts and a
sensationalist article about women with AIDS. Fashion has never
been this politically correct!
Once they found a friendly audience, the Gores needed to put
a friendly face on their message. Who better to re-introduce the
Gore family to society than Karenna, a pretty 28-year-old with a
law degree, a rich doctor husband, and one cute kid with another
on the way? Karenna makes a much better cover model than her
father, even with the tiredness and bloating of pregnancy
present in full force (I hear Al is a little bloated these days,
too, to the tune of about forty extra pounds).
Friendly audience, friendly face...all that is left is a
friendly message. In her "Guide to Not Getting
Bush-Whacked," Karenna sticks to the knee-jerk emotional
issues that are so popular with most women, from gun control
(get guns out of the hands of infants!) to abortion-on-demand
(it's MY body and I'll do what I want to, even if it means
ripping a baby to shreds for my own convenience!). Her piece is
peppered with chatty, fluffy talk about what a nice guy her dad
is and reality TV. She tries, and fails to connect with an
audience that cannot relate to her privileged upbringing and
fairy-tale life. The worst part is, she knows it.
Time after time, throughout the article, it becomes glaringly
obvious that Karenna is talking down to her readers.
Condescension is a nasty trait that Karenna seems to have
inherited in spades from her father. Just as one got the
impression that Al Gore was pitching policy to kindergartners
whenever he spoke during the election, one feels that Karenna is
writing to an audience of seventh-grade girls at a sleepover.
For example, toward the end of her article, Karenna
encourages women to write to their elected officials in support
of liberal issues: "I know you're not likely to feel like
one of Charlie's Angels simply by scribbling down your feelings
on legislation, but crime fighting comes in many forms!" Or
this gem, from her criticism of Bush on so-called 'women's
issues': "The old cry of 'women and children first!' seems
to describe who will get cut from the new budget." Her idea
of 'women's issues?' Universal health care, state-run day care,
and more government regulations on guns. Not tops on my list,
but then again, I never seem to agree with my gender on
As a onetime Glamour reader and as a woman, I maintain
that in this attempt to regain her relevancy, Karenna missed her
target. Unfortunately, she probably fired up a lot of
gum-snapping, soap-obsessed bimbettes for her liberal
causes. But the type of woman who would be anything but offended by
Karenna's elitist garbage is the type who will get halfway
through writing a two page screed on why she supports
abortion-on-demand before realizing "Oh! Oprah's on!"
and forgetting Karenna and her issues altogether.
Women (even liberal ones) of any substance should be able to
see right through Karenna's sanctimonious whining and see that
what this Gore girl really wants is the spotlight. Glamour
gave it to her this month, and I suspect they will not be the
last, but the more this spoiled socialite exposes herself in
public, the less all of us have to worry about her actually
advancing her brand of liberal trash.
See also: Ever
read the Federalist Papers?
Kirsten's Fan Club
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